Being a good person - ain't that easy?

I guess everyone loves being perceived as a good person.
The difference is only a matter of degree.
But this 'feel-good' factor can be tiring at times.

I am not saying that it is a bad thing either.
Because at the very least - these people, or we people, actually take those people around us into consideration.
And mostly because we care.
What the others feel? What the others think?
Being thoughtful about our words and actions makes us a good person, at least in action, be it naturally or intentionally.

Let us do a little bit of imagination here.
If a friend invites you over for a dinner and asks you how does their food taste like, what should you answer when it is actually awful?
Obviously taking into account the fact that they actually prepared it for the entire afternoon, you shouldn't hurt their feelings by spitting it out and say 'OMG, what is this?'
But even mindful words like 'there is room for improvements' and 'not too bad' can be hurtful for the more sensitive group of homo sapiens. Hey! We are expecting a little more from you.

So what should we say?
Should we fake the amazed tone - 'oh trust me, it's great!!!!!'??
Come on, don't fool ourselves, you and I know it, it's so not true.

This leads us to the wisdom of balancing between politeness and honesty.
Though I very much admire people who shoot you straight off and tell you 'hey miss, how could you make this thing, god damn it, it tastes horrible', but I have to admit that being brought up in a relatively traditional family where there are boundaries, rules and manners in every matter, I SIMPLY CANNOT BE THAT TRULY HONEST PERSON.
And of course, not everyone can take honest criticisms.

Well, if you are that person who doesn't bother about pleasing the whole world and thinks that people who loves you will eventually accept you for who you are, then great news for you - you have found an answer to this complicated matter!

But for a person like me who simply can't be that cool guy/girl, let's face it - it's slightly more difficult for us.

***

It used to be a case when good is good, and bad is bad.
But I come to realize that, there is no definite good or truly bad.

Good person can be too good till the extent that it is actually bad.

E.g. 1: You can be so good that you couldn't say 'no' to demanding requests and invitations and end up being worn out because of that inability of rejecting people.

E.g. 2: Or maybe you can be so good that you keep going back to someone with ulterior motives, getting hurt but couldn't resist to forgive him again and again.

E.g. 3: Or perhaps you are so careful about your actions that you successfully transform yourself into that 'always-smiling freak', lose your ability to be honest with your feelings, and distance yourself from your friends by hiding up secrets to maintain that perfect image of yours.

E.g. 4: Not to mention that your 'goodness' makes the others feel bad and demoralized, and sometimes it does take away the chance of the others to contribute into the relationship as well.

Well I admit that there is a fine line between stupidity and kindness.
And I admit that all these things are generated from both selfless-ness and selfishness (it's just different ways of looking at it - some see it as an attention-seeking behaviour)
But let's not be cynical about this.

Different people have different ways of dealing with life and people.
And we are never perfect.
We simply have to work our way through and god bless us that we can find the right people for us.

Some will say - WTF, let's just be honest. It makes things so much easier.
But I guess it is not appropriate at all times.
Sometimes, honest people thinks only their own perceptions till the extent that they forget the basic of being respectful towards others feelings and thoughts.

Ahhh..this is getting frustrating isn't it?
So I guess I shall stop here.

Yes, I don't have an answer to this.
But so far I deal it in this way.

For a good friend, I will say 'It's so nice of you putting this much effort into making this. I appreciate it very much. It tastes good.'
For a great friend, I will say 'It's GREAT!!', then I will look into her eyes again and smile, 'Oh come on, we both know that this isn't that great. But I still love you. And take my words, I will finish it for you my dear.'

So far, do I have a friend whom I can be honest with?
I don't really know actually.

Sidenote: No offence to all of you who are reading my blog, I know myself that I am not having much maturity and self-confidence in understanding people and handling relationships. Am not too sure if you all can take the second sentence better than the first one, simply because I am not too sure if you find me a great friend just like how I acknowledge you.

For now, I learned:

- Noone is perfect.
- So don't force yourself to be that perfect person and don't expect the same from others as well.
- It is impossible to please everyone.
- Therefore spend time with those you love and those who love you.
- And of course, it takes time to find out who you love, who loves you and how to love.

I believe even until the day when I am lying in my coffin, I will still wonder what's the trick for this magic between people. But yes, I will learn and improve on my way to that day.